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Cosmic Jive: It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year… Almoster

We made it this far…September! For Halloween enthusiasts, this is like week-four of the preseason. It’s starting to get a little bit cooler out. Wal-Mart took down their Back-to-School displays, replacing notebooks and glue sticks with over-priced plastic costumes. Inflatable front-yard goblins are beginning to pop up all over, and pumpkin-spice everything has once again descended upon us like a plague of hipster-locusts. So grab a sweatshirt and some hot apple cider, because it’s time to hit the road! (Maybe bring a sandwich, or possibly a fruit cup, also. We’re headed to Pittsburgh, and it’s like a fiveish-hour drive. Wouldn’t want to get a rumble in your tummy guts.) Here we go…haunted house road trip number two! Last month we checked out a farm in a sleepy town in South Jersey. So this month, we’ll travel north to a city made of steel, and pay a visit to the ScareHouse

Now, the name “ScareHouse” may not seem all that original. However, this haunted attraction is everything it’s name suggests. And I’ll get the disclaimer out of the way right now…ScareHouse is NOT for the faint of heart! This year marks the haunt’s 21st season. And for a place that started off as strongly as it did back in 1999, it has only gotten better in the years that followed. Don’t believe me? Well, maybe you’ll believe the Travel Channel, who has named ScareHouse one of “America’s Best Haunted Houses” several times. How about Good Morning America, USA Today, CBS and ABC News, Buzzfeed and Forbes? Each of them has featured ScareHouse on their respective programs. Even actor Elijah Wood, old Frodo Baggins himself, raved about ScareHouse on Late Night with Seth Myers.

Scarehouse.com is the attraction’s website and @scarehouse on facebook. There you can read reviews, and check out some great videos from the inside the walkthroughs. There is even a fantastic three-minute clip of original Bad Boy Martin Lawrence being scared out of his wits! The website is also a great place to find information about ScareHouse’s Bold Escape Rooms, as well as Steel City Axes. Just please keep in mind that ScareHouse is a haunted attraction intended for adults. And their website definitely has some content that you may not feel is appropriate for your mini-humans!

In the attraction’s Bold Escape Rooms, you must try to survive the night while your group is relentlessly stalked by an evil monster! But if that’s a little too intense for your taste, then you can spend a few hours at Steel City Axes! This is sort of like a bowling alley. But instead of rolling heavy balls down the lane, you get to through actual axes! And you can rest assured that there aren’t any evil monsters throwing axes back! And of course, The Basement will be returning for 2020! Oh, you don’t know about The Basement? Well I’m sorry…I’m way too scared to talk about it! That’s something you’ll have to experience for yourself…

Due to Covid-19 restrictions, tickets for the 2020 season will be in limited supply. But you can be confident that ScareHouse is taking every precaution to keep their customers safe this year. Nightly attendance will be cut in half. Groups will be limited to no more than six guests, and each group will enjoy the attractions privately. Social distancing guidelines will be enforced, and all patrons are required to wear face coverings at all times. So basically, the only things you’ll have to worry about are the ghouls, goblins and monsters waiting for you inside!

So now we’ve taken two road trips to two very different, very cool haunted attractions. And while our traveling may be at an end, the fun is just beginning! Next month is October, and our year of waiting patiently for Halloween will finally be over. That can only mean one thing: it’s time for the scares to come home to Lewisburg!

So get ready! Dark nights are coming, and Miller’s Nightmare awaits… (Since canceled due to Covid-19).

– Matthew Young, Hashtag Lewisburg City Paper. September 2020.

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HashtagWV Art & Entertainment is a high-quality print and digital multimedia platform for all things West Virginia and the greater Appalachian region. The editorial focus is local music, unique shopping, the arts, events, theatre, and food and drinks. tiktok.com/@hashtagwv