Pseudo News: Election Outcome May Cause Polar Shift

Larry Berger, Sinks Grove Correspondent for LBSPY

On my never ending search for the news with a ruse, I wandered up to the Molten Core Science and Research Center located upstate near Pickens.

After traveling a long way down a one lane road, I came to a dead end with a small, paved parking lot. There was only one other car. A winding path led me through an uncultivated landscape to the mouth of a large cave. I hadn’t brought a flashlight and hesitated to advance. I could hear noises coming from the cave, but they were indistinct, something that sounded like faint electronic beeping mixed with human muttering. There was a large rock so I decided to sit and wait.

wild-bean-lewisburg-wv

Soon a man appeared, emerging from the darkened mist with a small black box, the source of the beeping, that displayed intermittent flashing lights in many colors. The man was staring at a gauge on the box and would have run right into me if hadn’t coughed purposefully. He looked up.

“I’m looking for secrets to the unfolding universe,” I told him.

He was a short, bearded man with a visor cap, spectacles and a red crayon stuck behind his ear. “I understand,” he said. “You’re the fourth one today.”

He pushed a button on his box and what looked like a large rock swung open like the door of a big bank vault revealing a well lit laboratory cluttered with electronic gear and file cabinets. “Things are not as they have always been,” he told me. “The earth is in a delicate balance. Here, let me show you.”

salt-cave-and-spa-wv

He led me to a dining table in the center of the room set for four with plates, crystal, silverware, napkins, even candles and a flower arrangement. “This is what we researchers call the status quo,” he said. He took the edge of the table cloth in both hands and grinned up at me, eyes twinkling. “Ever seen this trick?”

He tugged at the table cloth and everything on the table overturned and went clattering to the floor. “I never could figure out how to do it,” he exclaimed, shaking his head. I helped him pick everything up and return it to the table. Only one glass had broken. We put new water into the flower vase. “Forks on the left,” he cautioned, as we reset the table, “knife blade inward.” He made sure everything was precisely in order. “The world is in a delicate balance, nature, the oceans, the atmosphere, and also the affairs of man. And these may be the most critical because they affect all the rest.”

I began to ask him a question but he shuffled me out of the room, pushing me with his down turned palms. “Now, off with you, I have work to do.” I left the cave and walked thoughtfully back to my car. As I opened the door, the scientist appeared at the mouth of the cave and shouted after me, “be careful who you vote for.”

Check out Larry’s poems and stories and a full archive of Pseudo News articles at his blogsite: sinksgrovepress.wordpress.com

– Larry Berger, HashtagWV. October 2016

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Submit a Comment

[ssba]

What Would the Quarantined Bunny Drink? w/ Hashtag Lewisburg City Paper this April!

What Would the Quarantined Bunny Drink w/ Hashtag Lewisburg City Paper - This April, what would the quarantined Easter bunny drink? Vodka, rum, tequila, brews? Find out with Robert Aquilino here. The impact of COVID-19 continues to affect us all in unprecedented ways. Along with fun/engaging content this month, we have included helpful information about the Paycheck Protection Loan Program for small businesses. In this issue, Grandpa […]

 

Stay Updated w/ HashtagWV!

Want to stay updated with the paper or thinking about advertising? Sign up today for the latest HASHTAGWV monthly newsletter!

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Best Things to Do in Lewisburg, WV

Best Things to Do in Lewisburg WV! - Spending a day in Lewisburg? Here are a few of the best things to do while you’re visiting. Start your day at the Wild Bean coffee shop.  Located downtown, this cafe offers premium coffee, tea, veggie cuisine, wi-fi, entertainment, and more! The breakfast menu consisting of breakfast burritos, egg scrambles, breakfast sandwiches and granola w/ […]

"Over the last 10 years, we have tried several avenues for advertising. Beyond a doubt, our greatest return has been through HASHTAGWV. Whether it be in the HASHTAGWV print edition, or online, our customers, both locals and tourists, really do look for this media form to be in tune with what’s going on in the area and for destination shopping. Advertising with LBSPY (now HASHTAG) has unequivocally been a great asset for our business!" - Craig Miller w/ Serenity Now Outfitters. Ad rates start at just $20! Click here for MEDIA KIT  

LBMEDIAKIT
LBSPY-Testimonials1
Patrick4CMPLTshrp "LBSPY is the best thing that has happened in Greenbrier County since I have been here for seven years. Maybe the whole state.... a first class operation and a lot of hard work," Patrick O'Flaherty (pictured above), The Irish Pub, Lewisburg, WV

Donating = Loving

HashtagWV remains D.I.Y. in nature and it takes hundreds of hours a month to research and write, and thousands of dollars to sustain. If you find any joy and value in it, please consider making a one time or recurring monthly donation of your choosing, between a cup of coffee at The Wild Bean and a good dinner at Food & Friends
Adam DeGraff "LB Spy always has their finger on the pulse of this community!" - Adam Degraff (pictured above), (The Weight/ The Dueling Fiddlers / Pianafiddle)

Instagram

Instagram has returned invalid data.

Follow Us!

LBSPY ARTICLES

Wonder How HashtagWV Remains Free?

WONDER HOW HASHTAG LEWISBURG CITY PAPER REMAINS FREE? - Wondering how Hashtag Lewisburg City Paper gets published and distributed FREE every month in-print and online? Do we have wealthy parents or did one of us seduce a millionaire? No. Are we financed by bank loans or grant money? Nope, not that either. Until we hit it BIG in the lotto, every issue of HASHTAGWV comes […]

BEHIND HASHTAG

HASHTAG WV
P.O. Box 744
Lewisburg, West Virginia 24901
info@hashtagwv.com

TESTIMONIAL

"Here at WHEN PIGS FLY BBQ, we get the most return advertising with LBSPY. New customers tell us all the time how they see our ad. They then come see us!" - Mike and Kellen, owners of When Pigs Fly BBQ, Lewisburg, WV.
"Christina, Thank you so much for the cover and the ARTICLE. Your LBSPY is fantastic! We hope to grow this ride and other sports events in our area. Your magazine will do this. Again thank you from everyone in the GVBike club. Come ride with us sometime." - Janice Centa

WE ARE YOUR SOURCE!

LBSPY is a free, full color arts and entertainment tabloid dedicated to providing useful information in the areas of Greenbrier County, Pocahontas County, parts of Alleghany County, and more. We distribute 7,000, full color issues every month.

WE ARE ENGAGED!

We are engaged in promoting local music, arts, events, dining, and shopping. We reach our audience where they live, eat, shop, drink, play, and fill up their gas tank. BEHIND THE SPY

TESTIMONIAL

"LBSPY is the best thing that has happened in Greenbrier County since I have been here for seven years. Maybe the whole state.... a first class operation and a lot of hard work," Patrick O'Flaherty, owner @ The Irish Pub