Pseudo News: Notes from the Underground

And now, I am compelled to report some very interesting news from underground sources you can only hear from my basement hideaway. Precious precedents predicted or performed, or improperly propelled by presidents precede properly prepared proposals by program packing political pundits. Who remembers Alfred E. Neuman? What, me worry?

Silence bounces off the uninsulated walls. I have buried issues of Mad Magazine in protective waterproof cases, afraid of being caught with them by my children. I go to them for comfort.

I heard Homer knocking at the back door upstairs. When I got there, his teeth were chattering, in August. “What?” I asked.

“I’m afraid.”  “Of what?”  “I dunno.” We stood there thinking. I gestured with my shoulder and we went into the kitchen. Another president, I reminded him, told us, “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.” And then Brett Dennon chimed in with “do not fear what you don’t really know,” on the radio.

He shrugged. We had a beer. I read him my latest poem.

I have this plant
in the kitchen window
and when the sound
of the old box fan
bounces off it,
so many times,
off so many leaves,
it sounds like rain;
and I look out
wishing I could see.

He shrugged again. He doesn’t understand poetry. So I asked him if he was confident of morning. His forlorn look made me wonder. So I asked him, “Will you help me make up stuff for my column?” He didn’t shrug this time. He smiled, and we went into the garage and wrote all this on drywall tape, while laughing at the idea of tomorrow.

Watch facebook for a live feed of Grandpa Larry doing calisthenics in his fallout shelter. And for all of you who totally ignored last month’s column, the answer to my riddle is “Filter”. The dog’s name is Filter, Lew Boyle and Filter. Hah! Now you have to dig out last month’s Hashtag and read the riddle.

Larry Berger. HashtagWV #93. September 2017.

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