I think I am going hire out my dog, Monty, as a hairdresser. I say this because his breath could straighten your hair (and maybe even give you highlights). I know that dogs can sometimes have stinky breath. I know this. This dog, though…his breath smells like roadkill. Or maybe it’s more like hot garbage juice mixed with a tuna sandwich that’s been struck by lightning. Don’t know what that smells like? I’ll bring him by to meet you. But don’t let him lick you, because then the smell will paste itself to your skin like the foulest solid perfume ever made. The worst thing about his stinky breath is that there isn’t much I can do about it. I even took him to the vet because of it, but she told me that it’s caused by his overbite. Poor Monty. His overbite is so large that it’s actually referred to as a “parrot mouth.” Since his mouth can’t close properly, all the bacteria in there flourish, creating a really raunchy case of halitosis. The vet recommended a canine mouthwash, but have you ever tried to pour liquid mouthwash into the mouth of a dog whose mouth won’t close? Just picture that for a second. But, at least now my hands are minty fresh!
– Tiffany Blair. LBSPY #32 (May 6-20th)