My sister is turning thirty. For some reason, this makes me feel really old. I’m two years older than she is, yet somehow I feel as though her turning thirty is like my turning thirty a second time. I’ve decided that the five Kübler-Ross stages of grief are the only way I can possibly work through this tragedy in a healthy way and deal with turning thirty again. First, there’s denial. I have a perpetual head shake at this point. “This can’t be happening. I’m in my prime.” Then comes the anger, during which stage I’ll likely make a stern face and give myself wrinkles. “This is awful! Not AGAIN.” Next, I bargain like a retiree during yard sale season: “If I could just, like, sleep through this year and skip ahead to something else…” Depression comes after that, but I’ll be too busy silently weeping during a Lifetime movie marathon to bother with a quote. Finally, acceptance will creep up on me. I’ll stop shaking my head, invest in botox for the wrinkles, take a power nap, and find a silly Rom Com to watch and set things right. Just in time for another birthday!
– Tiffany Blair, LBSPY 34 (May 20-June 3)