Have you noticed how intricate pumpkin carvings have gotten over the past few years? They’ve become pumpkin sculptures, really. This isn’t something I would normally concern myself with, but there’s going to be a pumpkin carving contest at work and I’d love to have an entry I can really be proud of. After scrolling through a hundred or so images online, however, I’m just not sure I have what it takes. Jack-o’-lanterns these days have actual, human faces! Sure, I’ve seen the run-of-the-mill smiling pumpkin heads with squared-out teeth and triangular eyes, but who could win with a snoozer like that? I’m talking about pumpkins with angry faces bursting out of the rind, or carved to resemble the President! How about a menacing, toothy pumpkin eating a smaller pumpkin? That’s the kind of show-stopper I need! I may try my hand at a vampire jack-o’-lantern with real blood on the fangs, since I’ll inevitably injure myself during carving. I wonder if I could get extra points for that…no pain, no gain, right? For now, I’ll grab myself a handful of candy corn, let the creative juices flow and relax, secure in the knowledge that it will all be worth it when I have my super-sweet First Place dollar store ribbon.

– Tiffany Blair, LBSPY #18